Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Good one on men !

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from?
Thought 2
The average man's life consists of :Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, 'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, 'Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.' The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. 'Who are you?''I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered.'Oh, yeah?' the man asked 'And where the hell were you when I got married?'
This is the best!!!

Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.So he announced 'Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life.' Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.'
The whole audience including priest started laughing.......... but not the poor groom!

Weight & See

It seems that everyone today wants to have a trim body with a flat abdomen. Knowing the facts behind this is very important. In this regard I came across an interesting article which throws light on the real facts. Hope this should be useful to you.
How do we put on extra weight, and why? How do we lose excess weight? Why is the stomach the first place to show excess fat? Why on earth, if our weight is correct for our height, do our bodies still look so shapeless? And finally, why, why, why, when we are careful about our diet, and we do exercise, are we still not trim? To answer these questions, I must go into several body basics. Once you understand these concepts, you'll hopefully be better equipped to deal with a diet and exercise plan.
THE SHAPE OF THINGS The shape of your body depends on two things: body structure and fat distribution. The latter usually depends on the former.
Men and women have different body structures. Women are usually less muscled than men and have drooping shoulders, narrow waists and broad hips.
Men, on the other hand, tend to have broad shoulders, narrow waists and narrow hips. Women also have a higher body fat percentage than men, which is why, when they're overweight, the fat tends to deposit around the hips, thighs, breasts and arms, as well as the stomach.
(Incidentally, this fat is not all bad. For instance, during pregnancy, the fat around the hips helps in the development of the foetus's brain.
) Fat distribution in the body is not just affected by body structure. It's also influenced by the thyroid, sex (estrogen for women and testosterone for men) and adrenal hormones.
The secretion of these hormones is genetic - based on what runs in your family. But both sexes have a tendency to put on weight around the stomach because: There is no immediate bony support in abdominal area; We seldom exercise the abdominal muscles; Fat absorption happens mainly in the small intestine, which is immediately below the abdomen.
Women also tend to have a bigger stomach after childbirth because the abdomen stretches during pregnancy and / or after a caesarian section. ENERGY EXCHANGE To keep ourselves going on a daily basis, we require energy in the form of calories.
If you think of calories as electricity - they give us power - you'll be able to understand the role of fat in our bodies. Fat is created when our bodies store calories (energy) for future use, in the same way that the batteries on our phones store power for future use when we put them on to charge.
To meet our energy requirements, we need food. Food is a mixture of nutrients like carbohydrates, fat, protein, fibre, vitamins, minerals and water.
It doesn't only provide energy, but also fulfills other body requirements, such as muscle building, immunity, synthesis of hormones and so on. Carbohydrates provide us with instant energy.
Protein builds our cells. And fat, our stored energy, gives us power on days when, for some reason or the other, we have no access to food.
So fat in itself is not a bad thing. It becomes bad however when there's too much of it, and that has a lot to do with how much or little we eat and how much or how little of that energy we expend.
So if you want to understand why you put on weight, and how to lose it, you need to understand how your body deals with calories. BALANCE OF POWER Three factors need to be taken into account when you think of how your body deals with food.
The first is input - your calorie intake in terms of food. Next comes throughput - the amount of energy your body expends in dealing with its own processes, such as digestion.
('Throughput' is better known as metabolism.) And finally, there's output - how much energy you expend in terms of the activities you do.
If your input is greater than your throughput and output, then your body will store all that extra, unused, energy as fat and you'll put on weight. For every 7,000 calories extra you consume, you put on approximately one kilo of fat.
So if you eat 700 calories of extra food a day, in 10 days, you'll be one kilo heavier than before. The way this fat is distributed depends on your gender, your hormones and the types of activity you do.
Similarly, if your calorie throughput and output is greater than your calorie input, then you'll lose weight in the same manner. For every 7,000 calories less you eat, you'll lose one kilo of fat.
(Keep in mind though, that 'fat' and 'weight' are not necessarily the same thing. Water loss and water gain, and muscle loss and muscle gain also affect the needle on your weighing scale.
) This is both more simple than you think and more complicated than it appears. It's simple because, basically, if you eat more calories than you expend, you put on weight.
And if you eat fewer calories than you expend, you lose weight. More in than out: more fat.
More out than in: less fat. But it's complicated because of the 'throughput' factor - metabolism.
Metabolism is the joker in the pack. BODY AND SOUL If you want to understand why you put on weight easily, or take so long to lose weight however faithfully you follow a weight loss plan, you need to understand metabolism.
Metabolism, or Body Metabolic Rate (BMR) is the energy that the body expends while it's at rest to maintain normal bodily functions such as the beating of the heart, respiration, maintenance of body temperature, digestion and so on. This is continual work that 'burns' or expends about 60 to 70 per cent of the calories we take in, so a lot of our weight issues depend on how our metabolisms function.
Your BMR is influenced by a number of factors that are detailed below. Genetics: Some people are born with faster metabolisms, others with slower metabolisms.
Gender: Men have a greater muscle mass and a lower body fat percentage than women. This means that men have a higher BMR. Age: The BMR reduces with age.
After 20 years, it drops about two per cent per decade. Body fat percentage: The lower your body fat percentage, the higher your BMR. It's because the male body has a lower body fat percentage than the female body that men generally have a 10-15 per cent faster BMR than women.
Diet: Starvation or serious abrupt calorie-reduction can dramatically reduce BMR by up to 30 per cent. Restrictive low-calorie weight loss diets may cause your BMR to drop as much as 20 per cent.
Body temperature: For every increase of 0.5 and #176; C in the internal temperature of your body, the BMR increases by about seven per cent. Chemical reactions in the body actually occur more quickly at higher temperatures.
Therefore, a patient with a fever of 42 and #176; C (about 4 and #176; C above normal) would have an increase of about 50 per cent in BMR. External cold temperature: Temperature outside the body also affects BMR. Exposure to cold causes an increase in the BMR, because the body needs to create extra heat to maintain its internal temperature. External hot temperature: A short exposure to very high heat has little effect on the body's metabolism as it is compensated mainly by increased heat loss.
However, prolonged exposure to external heat can raise BMR. That's why steam baths, saunas and body heat wraps are often recommended as part of weight loss programmes. Glands: The more thyroxin (thyroid hormones) that the body produces, the higher the BMR. When only a little thyroxin is produced (a condition known as myxoedema), the BMR may shrink to 30-40 per cent of the normal rate.
Adrenaline also increases the BMR, but not to such a great extent. Exercise: Physical exercise not only influences body weight by burning calories, it also helps raise your BMR by building extra lean tissue.
Lean tissue is more metabolically demanding than fat tissue. Therefore, you burn more calories even when you sleep.
GO FOR IT Now that you understand these concepts, it's clear that the only way to lose excess fat is to eat less and make your body work more. The only way to gain weight is to eat more and make your body work less.
And the only way to maintain your weight, once it has been corrected, is to balance your calorie intake and your energy expenditure. Nothing else will work.
You can achieve this in the following ways: 1. Plan your diet carefully and stick to it.
2. Make an exercise plan after careful analysis of your daily activities.
3. Correct factors that could affect your BMR, such as hormonal imbalances and so on.
Remember, even if you go to a professional for a diet and / or exercise plan, you need to make sure that he or she takes into account your BMR and daily activities. While weight loss / gain / maintenance can all be achieved through a diet plan alone, it's always better to add on an exercise plan because exercise offers benefits beyond those affecting weight.